One other thing...

I have been hesitant to really write anything personal on this blog. The online community can be a very vicious space at times. In recent struggles I have felt the need to reach out to others to let them know they are not alone and to help me realize I am not alone.  I suffer from chronic depression. This is something I have always tried to be open about but I still worry about opening up about. There are so many misunderstandings about depression and that word is used for an array of issues. 

For many people it can come as a surprise that it is something I struggle with on a daily basis. I was diagnosed at the age 16. I remember feeling a huge relief when a diagnosis was given. Finally, there was a reason I felt the way I had for the majority of my life. More than anything I received hope that day. Hope that I could leave the dark place I had lived for so long. There is so much I have lived and learned in my almost 30 years of battle with this disease and so much more I’m sure I will share but I won’t get into too many details for the moment. 

I have come a long way in the past decade or so but becoming a wife and a mother presents challenges that are difficult to most. Many things I will talk about on this blog will relate to my role as Mommy as it is the most dominant one in my life at the moment. My blog name stems from the continuous struggles I have and will continue to have. Many of them I am sure will sound similar to struggles every mother has but for me it is an even more exhausting battle to fight. At the base of almost everything I do is first the battle of my “depression” and then on top of that the task at hand. 

The main focus for this blog is my life, what I am working on and what I am doing. This will range from a recipe I just tried to how I got out of bed that morning but since my first post I felt the need to be a little more specific on what else I have to survive. I have no idea how to start this conversation but here it is. I don’t know how many people will ever read this blog but if there is anyone else out there that needs a support please don’t hesitate to contact me!